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Did the resentment dissipate? 'No,' Lessing says. 'I can't remember a time I wasn't fighting her.' In the book, she recounts their epic battles, including one triggered by a letter her mother wrote accusing her of being a prostitute. On another occasion, her mother phoned Lessing's employer and outed her as a member of the Communist Party. 'She was a woman who shouldn't have had children, and she didn't in the life I have given her,' Lessing says of the novella. 'I'm hoping the fact that women can get jobs makes it impossible for this horrible person-- the woman who has to live through her children-- to come into existence.'
Yet in parts of the book, Lessing softens and reveals her mother's capacity to care. As a former nurse, she brought ointments, stethoscopes and other implements to the village, turning their farmhouse into a makeshift hospital for local people.
With Lessing entering the twilight of her life, it's hard not to read Alfred and Emily as an act of atonement. Drawing on decades of hindsight, she accepts that her mother's war wounds, though less visible, ran as deep as her father's-- and she endeavors to heal them. In the novella, she envisions her mother as what she could have been, a teacher and philanthropist, not the 'demented' woman that war had made her. The memoir honors that potential, too. 'The real Emily McVeagh was an educator, who told stories and brought me books,' Lessing writes. 'I owe to her, my mother, my introduction to books, reading-- all that has been my life.' In moments like this, Lessing sees past their tortured relationship and uses the literary gifts her mother gave her to pay, in posterity, a daughter's debt of gratitude.

A. 어휘
resentment 敵意(적의), 원한, 불쾌.
dissipate [슬픔. 우울 따위] 가시게 하다, 낭비하다.
recount 이야기하다, 자세히 말하다. epic 敍事詩的(서사시적)인, 영웅적인, 엄청난.
trigger 일으키다, 개시하다, 방아쇠. including ...를 포함해서(전치사).
accuse...of 비난하다, 고발하다. prostitute 창녀. on another occasion 또 다른 경우에.
out 쫓아내다. horrible 무서운. come into existence 생기다, 성립되다.
soften [노여움 따위가] 가라앉다. reveal [감추어진 것을] 알리다.
former nurse 前 간호원. ointment 軟膏(연고). stethoscope 청진기.
implement 醫療器(의료기), 기구, 도구. makeshift 임시변통의. twilight 황혼.
atonement 贖罪(속죄), 보상. draw on 끌어들이다, ...에 도달하다.
hindsight 통찰, 나중에 생각나는 묘안. visible 눈에 보이는, 명백한.
endeavor 노력하다, heal 治癒(치유)하다. envision 마음속에 그리다, 상상하다. philanthropist 博愛主義者(박애주의자). demented 失性(실성)한, 발광한.
honor 매우 존경하다. potential 잠재력. owe to ...에...의 은혜를 입고있다.
past their tortured relationship 그들의 고통스러운 관계를 넘어서(초월하여).
cf. past ...를 넘어서(전치사). literary gifts 문학적 재능. in posterity 後代(후대)에서.
gratitude 감사.

B. 구문
- including one triggered . . . being a prostitute
[그녀의 어머니가 그녀를 창녀라고 비난한 편지에 의해서 촉발된 싸움을 포함해서].
- She was a woman . . . I have given her.
[어머니는 자식을 가지지 말았어야 할 여인이었어요. 그리고 내가 그녀에게 준 인생(내가 소설에서 그린 어머니는)에서는 자식이 없었어요.]
- the fact that women can . . . to come into existence
cf. 가목적어 it→to come into existence
[여자가 직장을 가질 수 있다는 사실 때문에 이런 무서운 사람--아이를 키우며 살아야 하는 여자--이 생기는 일이 일어나지 않기를 희망하고 있습니다.]
- With Lessing entering→When Lessing enters→Lessing entering
cf. with+명사+ing/pp.→ 독립분사구문의 부대상황.
- she envisions her mother as what could have been
[그녀는 그녀의 어머니를 (환경이 좋았더라면 실제로)될 수도 있었던 여인으로 그리고 있다]